books

I always have to smile at all the "words of wisdom" that show up on Facebook.  I have the friend who shares the power of faith in god, the liberal friend who shares political wisdom about bipartisanship, the friend who shares affirmations about those who don't appreciate you not being worth the trouble.  I think they all are worthy of consideration, and I actually appreciate when they make me reflect, even for a moment.

I think I have a pretty good life, but not one that is without regrets.  Still, I think most of my regrets are on the smaller scale, nothing that would put me into a different time or place.  I feel pretty lucky to be able to say that.

One of the questions I do ask myself is about friendship.  I am in contact with some of the same good friends that I've known my whole life.  Not that I am necessarily close with them, in terms of seeing them frequently, but I know where and how they are and that if I needed to, I could call.  I certainly hope they feel the same.  I lucked out growing up in a small town and having the same group of people from kindergarten until graduation.

I'm not really in touch with too many folks from college, but I am with some.  Part of that is because I took such a random path - in and out of school, a semester here and there, travels and working.  Of my three best friends from those days, one is dead and one other parted ways many years ago. Occasionally I think about them both, and sometimes I miss them, but shit happens.  The loss of the third still puzzles me, but I'm secure in my belief that a friend who constantly tests and offers ultimatums probably isn't that true of a friend.

I know that I am not an easy person to live with, and that I have made - and make - lifestyle choices that make folks uncomfortable. I respect the choice to distance yourself from me if you don't like my beliefs, who I love, or choices I make.  When you leave, I'll pause and reflect.  I'll consider change or changing, but it will be for me, not for you.  

45 doesn't seem that old, but I'm halfway to 90.  A status check reminds me that I have a fantastic family, including a husband who makes me crazy but I'm also crazy about.  My job  is busy and occasionally frustrating, but I love it and have some great friends that I've made because of it. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are precious to me, and true.  I don't ever have enough time but I manage, and what time I do have I spend with folks who make me happy, who make me feel good about myself and my life.

I don't know why February tends to me me reflective, and I'm certain it's not an exciting month in my blogosphere, but I think its good for me to remember and appreciate that I'm pretty damn lucky.