Flarp!
So the second part of this tale is that while Bob's away, Jed's been sleeping with me. It's only the two of us, plus the dogs, in the house so we might as well bunk together. Last night I put him to bed as usual, watched a little Eureka, and then went to bed myself as the boy snored.
At 4:00 this morning, I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I got back upstairs, Jed was sitting up in bed. "There's something in my pants," he tells me.
"What do you mean there's something in your pants?" (This is a dangerous question to ask an 8 year old, especially at 4 am.)
"There's something squishy in my pants," he replies. (Not the answer a parent hopes for, especially at 4 am.)
"What do you mean?" Finally I turn on the light and brace myself to look down into the pajama bottoms. He's got the waistband rolled down and the "squishy" answer is obvious - his pajamas are full of Flarp!
"Why do you have Flarp! in your pants, Jed?" I ask, knowing the answer that such parental questions always bring.
"I don't know."
"You don't know how the Flarp! got into your pants?" And he insists he has absolutely no clue about how a sticky noise making goo got into his pajamas, so I tell him to take them off and go back to bed.
So the rest of the story comes out this morning.... turns out, as I suspected, that in an 8 year old's mind, the best place for fart-noise making goop is close to the place those noises naturally come from. Apparently his plan was to stay awake until I got to bed and then roll over onto the Flarp! making the biggest "noise" ever. But he fell asleep and instead the goop got smooshed all into his pajamas.
I don't know if the pajamas are salvageable, but the Flarp! definitely is not....who knew parenting was so exciting?
Comments
I'm so glad Jed is back to providing us with laughs.