Me? Surly?

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A friend called me surly the other day. Me? Surly? I always thought I was lighthearted and... okay I can't even b.s. may way through the whole sentence. I am sort of surly. I think I have been for a long time. My question is whether I have always been surly, or whether it's a relatively new state in my life?

I like to think that although my surliness occasionally reveals itself, it's because the circumstances warrant it. I get surly when people at work make dumbass decisions and it causes extra work and time for me. I get surly when I'm enjoying my own quiet time and people start to bug me just because they're bored or tired. I get surly when I have to be around stupid people. These are all perfectly justifiable reason to be surly in my mind.

I don't think surly is my normal state - generally I'm cynically humorous, sarcastically generous, and energetically outgoing. The potential for surliness gives me my edge, but it doesn't define who I am.

Lately though, the question of balance has murmured beneath the surface of my thoughts. The balance has shifted, tilted in the favor of the surly side and it needs to be re-calibrated. If I'm not careful, the scales of surliness will take on more weight of grumpiness, irritability, and impatience.

I could make lots of excuses - stress, February darkness, my dad's death, work.......that would be a bunch of bull. Could it be I just like being surly? Hope not.

I just need to pull the proverbial head out of my proverbial ass and get over it. Pronto.

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