Out with the old
It's New Year's Eve, 2009. I usually think of my life in school years, August to July, instead of calendar years, but this year is a bit different. I'm ready for 2009 to come to a close.
A quick review of 2009... in January, my dad passed. I'll never forget the sound of my brother's voice when he called me at school that afternoon. I was about to start a Hamlet activity in AP English. My students were awesome. They realized that something was up when I got off the phone. I think I said something like, "Hey guys, I think my dad just died and I need to go make a phone call. Here's the assignment and the videos are all cued up." Two girls were awesome and assured me all would be well as they ushered me out the door.
In February, I turned 40. 'Nuff said.
March, April, May were busy with family. One child was really struggling with lots of school & health issues, others were just "normal" kids. My Grammie, who went from living in her own home to major heart attack in 3 days, continued to decline and I watched from afar as my mom dealt with the logistics and family dynamics as well as her own emotions. April was both my dad & my Gram's birthdays (which always made me laugh, since it's appropriate to say they weren't overly fond of each other). Gram finally passed away, and then mom had to deal with her estate. There were joys - Hannah graduated!! - but overall the months seemed to run into one another as we just keep jumping through the hoops of life and kept everyone going. May also brought the first of three surgeries for hubby this year - sinus cleanout in May and October and shoulder repair in December.
Summer was nice. Co-taught a class with my hubby, which is always a blast. We team taught before we were married, and it was one of the best teaching experiences I've had. Travelled down to Kenai to spend time with my brother and to go through all of my dad's things. It was amazing what he kept - an unopened bar of Old Spice Soap on a Rope that he likely recieved as a Christmas gift from his children in the early 80's, pieces of poetry and quotes he liked, the registration papers for a dog he got in 1969 and a snowmachine he got in 1971. As always, summer went by quickly. Funny that really the only specific thing I remember is the beginning of August when school & school stress hit me like a proverbial ton o'bricks.
August was a blur. After a time spent working this summer and the pre-planning week of paid work, I realized that I either needed to choose my own health or work. The night before classes started, I made the decision to quit teaching. To say this was the hardest decision I've ever made doesn't even begin to describe the physical and emotional distress I underwent over this issue. I do know however, that I would not have made it through another year. I know that sounds extreme, but I'm not exaggerating. I wouldn't have made it.
So most of August and all of September were spent dealing with the immediate fallout of my decision. I spent the first few weeks crying, the next few dealing with guilt and feelings of failure, and the next few being pissed off. However, I will say I was able to sleep at night, my blood pressure was way down, no anxiety attacks were a plus, and my family seemed to enjoy being around me.
October was the beginning of finding myself after years of defining myself largely through work. It was also Bob's second surgery of the year so things were busy at home. November was a busy time for Bob at work, a trip to Kenai for Thanksgiving (which is always fun, but simultaneously tiring and stressful) and then we hit December. Christmas, kid activities, Bob's shoulder repair and cold weather.
I'm well aware that this post focused on the negative of 2009 - that's the point. I've transferred all of my angst and sorrow from the past onto this keyboard and sent it off into cyberspace. Out with the old to make room for the new.
Bring on 2010.
A quick review of 2009... in January, my dad passed. I'll never forget the sound of my brother's voice when he called me at school that afternoon. I was about to start a Hamlet activity in AP English. My students were awesome. They realized that something was up when I got off the phone. I think I said something like, "Hey guys, I think my dad just died and I need to go make a phone call. Here's the assignment and the videos are all cued up." Two girls were awesome and assured me all would be well as they ushered me out the door.
In February, I turned 40. 'Nuff said.
March, April, May were busy with family. One child was really struggling with lots of school & health issues, others were just "normal" kids. My Grammie, who went from living in her own home to major heart attack in 3 days, continued to decline and I watched from afar as my mom dealt with the logistics and family dynamics as well as her own emotions. April was both my dad & my Gram's birthdays (which always made me laugh, since it's appropriate to say they weren't overly fond of each other). Gram finally passed away, and then mom had to deal with her estate. There were joys - Hannah graduated!! - but overall the months seemed to run into one another as we just keep jumping through the hoops of life and kept everyone going. May also brought the first of three surgeries for hubby this year - sinus cleanout in May and October and shoulder repair in December.
Summer was nice. Co-taught a class with my hubby, which is always a blast. We team taught before we were married, and it was one of the best teaching experiences I've had. Travelled down to Kenai to spend time with my brother and to go through all of my dad's things. It was amazing what he kept - an unopened bar of Old Spice Soap on a Rope that he likely recieved as a Christmas gift from his children in the early 80's, pieces of poetry and quotes he liked, the registration papers for a dog he got in 1969 and a snowmachine he got in 1971. As always, summer went by quickly. Funny that really the only specific thing I remember is the beginning of August when school & school stress hit me like a proverbial ton o'bricks.
August was a blur. After a time spent working this summer and the pre-planning week of paid work, I realized that I either needed to choose my own health or work. The night before classes started, I made the decision to quit teaching. To say this was the hardest decision I've ever made doesn't even begin to describe the physical and emotional distress I underwent over this issue. I do know however, that I would not have made it through another year. I know that sounds extreme, but I'm not exaggerating. I wouldn't have made it.
So most of August and all of September were spent dealing with the immediate fallout of my decision. I spent the first few weeks crying, the next few dealing with guilt and feelings of failure, and the next few being pissed off. However, I will say I was able to sleep at night, my blood pressure was way down, no anxiety attacks were a plus, and my family seemed to enjoy being around me.
October was the beginning of finding myself after years of defining myself largely through work. It was also Bob's second surgery of the year so things were busy at home. November was a busy time for Bob at work, a trip to Kenai for Thanksgiving (which is always fun, but simultaneously tiring and stressful) and then we hit December. Christmas, kid activities, Bob's shoulder repair and cold weather.
I'm well aware that this post focused on the negative of 2009 - that's the point. I've transferred all of my angst and sorrow from the past onto this keyboard and sent it off into cyberspace. Out with the old to make room for the new.
Bring on 2010.
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