kids
Yesterday was parent teacher conference day for the kids. It was great to be able to go as a parent, instead of sitting as a teacher, and check in on my kids. In elementary school there's a set time, so I always make those, but since the girls got older I've often missed them. When the oldest was at my school, I'd get a scoop but I've missed middle child's conferences since she hit middle school. She's a pretty good student & nice kid, so there haven't been problems, which also seems to make it easier to miss conference time.
So I went around to all six of her teachers to get the scoop on her progress, behavior, and skills. The first five conferences were pretty standard for her - she's great, smart, needs to remember to turn her homework in on time. In her German class she has 104%, which is pretty amazing. Her teacher really wants to take her to Germany next year for an exchange; what an awesome opportunity.
Her last teacher gave the typical grade & behavior report and then said something really cool, "The girl has a really good heart. She's sweet and strong at the same time. Love on her, even when she tries to make you think she doesn't need it." It made me smile at the time, and yet I find myself coming back to it since then. He was right, she does have a great heart. That's an awesome thing to hear about your kid.
I feel pretty fortunate to see that heart. A lot of stepmothers have troubled relationships with stepchildren, especially daughters. I think as far as teenage-parent interactions go, we're doing pretty well. She talks to me about a lot of stuff, deals with my questions and my nagging, and when I'm sitting on the couch watching t.v., she'll come over and snuggle next to me. Usually it's because she wants me to rub her back, or her feet, but I'm not complaining because snuggle time with a 15 year old girl is a rare and special thing.
Whenever anyone asks me how many kids I have, I say "Three." Technically I have two stepdaughters and a son, but in my head and my heart they're all the same. A lot of people can't believe that, but it's really true. There are differences in the boy and the girls, and sometimes it's hard. On Mother's Day, the girls spend the day with their mom, and usually I don't get a phone call. I understand and I don't want to be their mom - I'm Mel the stepmonster and okay with that - but a call would be nice. I know that when they win a major award and give an acceptance speech, they'll thank their mom and not mention me. But then again, they probably won't mention their dad either. We're taken for granted, which we both agree is, in a strange way, the biggest compliment they could give. They know that when they need to go to the doctor, or get poster board for a project, or have someone bring their ski boots to school when they forget them, or buy snacks for the dorm, that they can call us and we're there for them.
And that's what parenting is, yes? Being there for your kid even when they're ornery, or sick, or doing something stupid? The rewards are often in the little things, like hearing from a teacher that your daughter has a good heart. A thank you for picking up a friend to spend the night at the last minute. It's hoping that some day they'll take a moment to realize all you did for them, the little things more than the big, and they'll appreciate it. And if you're really lucky, they'll let you know.
So I went around to all six of her teachers to get the scoop on her progress, behavior, and skills. The first five conferences were pretty standard for her - she's great, smart, needs to remember to turn her homework in on time. In her German class she has 104%, which is pretty amazing. Her teacher really wants to take her to Germany next year for an exchange; what an awesome opportunity.
Her last teacher gave the typical grade & behavior report and then said something really cool, "The girl has a really good heart. She's sweet and strong at the same time. Love on her, even when she tries to make you think she doesn't need it." It made me smile at the time, and yet I find myself coming back to it since then. He was right, she does have a great heart. That's an awesome thing to hear about your kid.
I feel pretty fortunate to see that heart. A lot of stepmothers have troubled relationships with stepchildren, especially daughters. I think as far as teenage-parent interactions go, we're doing pretty well. She talks to me about a lot of stuff, deals with my questions and my nagging, and when I'm sitting on the couch watching t.v., she'll come over and snuggle next to me. Usually it's because she wants me to rub her back, or her feet, but I'm not complaining because snuggle time with a 15 year old girl is a rare and special thing.
Whenever anyone asks me how many kids I have, I say "Three." Technically I have two stepdaughters and a son, but in my head and my heart they're all the same. A lot of people can't believe that, but it's really true. There are differences in the boy and the girls, and sometimes it's hard. On Mother's Day, the girls spend the day with their mom, and usually I don't get a phone call. I understand and I don't want to be their mom - I'm Mel the stepmonster and okay with that - but a call would be nice. I know that when they win a major award and give an acceptance speech, they'll thank their mom and not mention me. But then again, they probably won't mention their dad either. We're taken for granted, which we both agree is, in a strange way, the biggest compliment they could give. They know that when they need to go to the doctor, or get poster board for a project, or have someone bring their ski boots to school when they forget them, or buy snacks for the dorm, that they can call us and we're there for them.
And that's what parenting is, yes? Being there for your kid even when they're ornery, or sick, or doing something stupid? The rewards are often in the little things, like hearing from a teacher that your daughter has a good heart. A thank you for picking up a friend to spend the night at the last minute. It's hoping that some day they'll take a moment to realize all you did for them, the little things more than the big, and they'll appreciate it. And if you're really lucky, they'll let you know.
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