My husband just called that a friend's wife died. She wasn't that old and from what we know right now she had a minor procedure, was in the hospital and then died. Her brother called her husband at work and the assistant principal took him to the airport to fly down to Anchorage. I feel like I want to just burst into tears. Right now my heart is breaking for this poor man. He adored his wife and they were truly good, good people. She made Jed these miniature Carhartt overalls when he was a baby, complete with a Carhartt patch, from recycled grown up overalls.
A year and 4 days ago, I got a call at work that my dad died. I'll never forget the sound of my brother's voice on the phone. I hurt so badly for my brother; I think I hurt more for him than I did for myself.
I spent this morning in what I thought was the beginning of my big day of "getting stuff done" but now I just want to curl up somewhere and cry. Losing someone to death can't be "fixed" and the feelings can't be rationalized away. I made it through the anniversary of dad's death just fine last week, and now I've got that feeling back, where I can't catch a good breath. Although I always considered it a cliche, the expression "a heart is breaking" is really the only way to describe it. It's like a piece is gone and when you breathe you can feel the air run through it, cold and painful like stepping outside into -50 weather, except the pain is in your heart and not your lungs and it doesn't stop when you close your eyes and stop breathing. It just stays open and sometimes it aches like it's about to split into pieces but it won't, and if it would then the aching would go away but it doesn't.
A year and 4 days ago, I got a call at work that my dad died. I'll never forget the sound of my brother's voice on the phone. I hurt so badly for my brother; I think I hurt more for him than I did for myself.
I spent this morning in what I thought was the beginning of my big day of "getting stuff done" but now I just want to curl up somewhere and cry. Losing someone to death can't be "fixed" and the feelings can't be rationalized away. I made it through the anniversary of dad's death just fine last week, and now I've got that feeling back, where I can't catch a good breath. Although I always considered it a cliche, the expression "a heart is breaking" is really the only way to describe it. It's like a piece is gone and when you breathe you can feel the air run through it, cold and painful like stepping outside into -50 weather, except the pain is in your heart and not your lungs and it doesn't stop when you close your eyes and stop breathing. It just stays open and sometimes it aches like it's about to split into pieces but it won't, and if it would then the aching would go away but it doesn't.
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