bad mama
Apparently I'm a bad parent. (and I wonder how many of you are thinking something like, "You just figured this out?")
See, this morning my son was reminded, gently I might add, to finish his chore of feeding the devil dog. He put on his boots, headed to the dog food tub on the porch and returned with, literally, two pieces of kibble looking lonely in her bowl. I told him he needed to go get more food, to which he replied with a huffy, nasty tone and an eye rolling. I got my "very stern" voice and told him he not only better finish his chores, but he better then sit down and drink his milk and that I was NOT happy with him for being so disrespectful and it would not be tolerated. He complied.
A few minutes later, being the progressive parent I am, I thought to follow up the exchange with calm talk: "Jed, I'm sorry that I spoke harshly a few minutes ago. I hope you realize that your family is always going to be here, and it's very important that you treat family - and all people- respectfully. It's not okay to be ugly to your mama."
To which my husband's son replied: "You know mom, I've been thinking. You and Papa have not done a very proper job as parents. Sometimes you say bad words, and sometimes Papa loses his temper, and that makes me not know how to behave. You can't expect a boy to be good when he has bad parents."
Keeping my cool, I replied: "Jedidiah Marshall. [note the use of both names - ed.] It doesn't matter who or what your parents are. You are responsible for your own behavior and I expect you to be respectful. No excuses."
But now that I've had time to think about it, I'm wondering if there was a better response. In fact, now that I've had time to think about it I should have said, "You want good parents? I'll take you down to
the transfer site and we'll make it happen little boy." I asked my mom, and she suggested giving him a big ol' smack upside the head. Apparently that kind of good parenting worked for us. (Just kidding mom, please don't hit me.)
All in all, I think I've got my work cut out for me. This boy is something else.
See, this morning my son was reminded, gently I might add, to finish his chore of feeding the devil dog. He put on his boots, headed to the dog food tub on the porch and returned with, literally, two pieces of kibble looking lonely in her bowl. I told him he needed to go get more food, to which he replied with a huffy, nasty tone and an eye rolling. I got my "very stern" voice and told him he not only better finish his chores, but he better then sit down and drink his milk and that I was NOT happy with him for being so disrespectful and it would not be tolerated. He complied.
A few minutes later, being the progressive parent I am, I thought to follow up the exchange with calm talk: "Jed, I'm sorry that I spoke harshly a few minutes ago. I hope you realize that your family is always going to be here, and it's very important that you treat family - and all people- respectfully. It's not okay to be ugly to your mama."
To which my husband's son replied: "You know mom, I've been thinking. You and Papa have not done a very proper job as parents. Sometimes you say bad words, and sometimes Papa loses his temper, and that makes me not know how to behave. You can't expect a boy to be good when he has bad parents."
Keeping my cool, I replied: "Jedidiah Marshall. [note the use of both names - ed.] It doesn't matter who or what your parents are. You are responsible for your own behavior and I expect you to be respectful. No excuses."
But now that I've had time to think about it, I'm wondering if there was a better response. In fact, now that I've had time to think about it I should have said, "You want good parents? I'll take you down to
the transfer site and we'll make it happen little boy." I asked my mom, and she suggested giving him a big ol' smack upside the head. Apparently that kind of good parenting worked for us. (Just kidding mom, please don't hit me.)All in all, I think I've got my work cut out for me. This boy is something else.
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