a numbers game

Here's my advice for today: There are two possessions one should never count - shoes or books. You see my friend, counting these items creates a impossible situation. No matter what number you come up with, it doesn't seem like enough to the owner. And no matter what number you come up with, friends and family will express astonishment and think you're excessive.

The reality is that one can never own too many shoes, or too many books. Shoes turn the mundane work day into something fun and exciting. Having the right shoes for an occasion not only helps to smooth social interactions, but it marks a person as professional and caring about his/her appearance. Plus, shoes are just cool.


As for books, if one has a book, one is never alone. Books allow the reader to travel the world and examine life's conflicts and passions without having to enter into dangerous situations. Books inspire thinking and examination of issues. Think of Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote "The unexamined life is not worth living." Books allow, even encourage examination no matter the circumstances reality presents.

I learned this fact first hand; consider this blog a primary source on this historic issue. One of my colleagues asked how many shoes I owned, and when cleaning this weekend, I actually counted. Part of me was shocked at the number, and part of me felt vindicated. 53 pairs of shoes isn't that excessive, is it?

Yes, I said 53 pairs of footwear. That number includes all varieties: boots, flip flops, pumps, sandals, tennis shoes, slip ons, heels, flats, you name it. Each pair is unique and has been worn in the past year. I like my shoes; they help me feel unique in the institutional settings in which I work. They're fun, sometimes sexy, and conversation starters. I don't think 53 is an excessive number in the least.

I did make the mistake of sharing that number with my husband. He got an astonished look on his face, "HOLY COW!! That's pretty crazy!" he responded. He then started on a lecture about third world countries and needs vs. wants. All of which started a longer conversation about choices and purchases and brought us around to the subject of books. See, although my husband seems to think his own 26 pairs of shoes (not counting specialized footwear like ski boots or biking shoes) is perfectly justified, he really gets defensive when we talk about books. If I have an excessive number of shoes, than my husband has an excessive number of books.

It's actually ironic that he would get defensive, as I have no problem with the number of books he has or continues to purchase. On a recent anniversary vacation to Oregon, we bought so many books we had to mail boxes back in addition to what we fit into our luggage. Bob's been in a mountaineering book phase lately, so many of the purchases were rare or definitive texts on climbing. Some were quite expensive, but I'm okay with the expense. I know they'll be read, appreciated, looked at, smelled, caressed, re-read, cataloged and generally enjoyed for years to come. One can't have too many books or too many shoes.

Once I pointed out the similarities in our respective vices and assured him that's it's okay to purchase (what some may see as) an excessive number of books or shoes, he seemed to get more disturbed. In fact, I see him eying his own collection of footwear with that "I need to get rid of some of these" look. Silly man, embrace the footwear! Embrace the books! They're both important to leading the examined life!

So the next time someone inquires, "Just how many pairs of shoes DO you have" don't fall for the ruse. Nothing good comes of counting. And, if you do count, don't share that number with your husband or partner. In fact, only share with a close friend who is an enlightened as you are in the matter of fashionable footwear. A friend that, when you email a picture of great shoes from Zappos, says "You totally need to by those." She may call you IsMELda, but that's okay... the shoes are really cute.