When I Grow Up

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When I grow up I want to have read so many important books that I can offer wise quotes at any moment.  When I grow up, I will have overcome my fear of spiders.  And sock monkeys.  When I grow up I will do the dishes each night before I go to bed and wake up to a clean kitchen each morning.  When I grow up I won't eat the frosting and leave the cake.  When I grow up I will calmly take life's challenges in stride, and not react by getting pissed at the world.  When I grow up I'll stop blaming Bob for the fact his son talks constantly, all the time, every waking moment.  When I grow up I'll forgive the people who have done me and my loved ones wrong (but I won't forget).  When I grow up I'll quit spending so much time stalking folks on Facebook, and Twitter.  When I grow up, I'll stop answering hard questions by performing an interpretive dance.

Wait, no I won't.  Interpretive dance is always an appropriate response to a question.

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