all I want for christmas

-

Here is my list of Christmas gifts that I don't want, but for some reason are oddly tempting to purchase if I had money to spare.

1) The bumper dumper.  A portable potty available in camo or traditional white.  Just because you're camping why suffer without the comforts of home?

2) Bacon flavored lip balm.  Available at  along with bacon mints, bacon gumballs and bacon bandaids.  Who doesn't love bacon?
 
3)  Handerpants - underpants for your hands!  Hundreds of uses supposedly.  You can even download the Handerpants ringtone at handerpants.com


4) Kung Zhu - robotic hamsters that don battle armor and fight in some sort of kung zhu arena.  These are not to be confused with zhu zhu pets, which are sweet robotic hamsters that have clothes and look cute.  I must confess that I have purchased one of these for a small relative, much to his parents' chagrin.
 
5) Sarah Palin toilet paper?  You betcha.

 







6)  WTF stamper.  I think this would have SO many uses....




 7)  A light up blinking serving tray and glasses.  Very cool.  In fact, all sort of light up stuff is available including "body lights" at flashingblinkylights.com/


 





8)  A mustache mirror.  This would just  be fun in the morning, wouldn't it?

   
9) A beer pager.  This is pure genius!  Who hasn't put  a beverage down only to forget where you put it?








10)  A brain jello mold.  I'd love to take snacks to the class parent meetings if I had one of these! 

Here's holiday wishes for everyone to get just want they want from Santa Claus !


Comments

Missy said…
For your bacon orgy you need bacon soda from Jones Soda. :)
December 23, 2010 at 4:38 PM
Lori L said…
It appears you have too much time on your hands. Who cares how cold it is. go outside and sled with the boy!
December 23, 2010 at 5:14 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

imagination

-
She moved to the beach to start over. After years behind a desk, processing paperwork for deadbeats, she was looking to forward some quiet. Her monthly pension from the state, combined with social security and the money her father had left her provided enough income for the full cable package on television, her book of the month club, and necessities. She didn't subscribe to the newspaper any more; nothing in there but bad news. All her working life had been dealing with deadbeats, people making excuses for why they weren't working, why they didn't take care of their children, their bills, or themselves. The newspaper was just a reminder of that. The first slug appeared late in the evening. She'd just finished watching America's Got Talent and went to check the doors and windows before heading to bed for the night. When she turned on the porch light, she saw a huge shadow on the screen door. About 4 inches long, it had worked the front half of
Read more

what goes up, must come down

-
"Once on the elevator , elevator etiquette experts strongly recommend standing as close to a wall or corner as possible to make room for other riders. You should move to the back of the elevator if you are going a long way, and stay in the front if you plan to get off soon. If you decide to stand in front of the elevator buttons, be prepared to be asked to push buttons for other elevator riders. While in an elevator , you shouldn't eat, smoke, or talk on your cellphone. Many people prefer to ride an elevator in silence, so if you have to strike up a conversation with someone, keep the topic neutral, and your tone of voice low. If other people in the elevator seem irritated or upset by your conversation, you may want to change the topic or quiet down. Step aside for people getting off the elevator , and be sure not to block the door when the elevator stops.  ~Wisegeek.com Heh heh heh.  I've discovered a new hobby.  It's called "freak out the strangers on
Read more

books

-
I'm making lots of lists lately and figured I'd keep going. Since I often get asked what my favorite books are and I can never answer, here are a few books I think are worth reading. Siddartha , by Herman Hesse. The book that changed my way of viewing the world. The Stand , by Stephen King. One of the best books ever. Archetypal good vs. evil, great writing, and interesting characters. Lonesome Dove , by Larry McMurty. Never have I experienced such real and rounded characters on the written page. The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove , by Christopher Moore. Laugh out loud funny and strange. A Prayer for Owen Meany , by John Irving. Funny but thought provoking. I think better, but very different than Cider House Rules, World According to Garp or Hotel New Hampshire . To Kill a Mockingbird , by Harper Lee. Classic coming of age. The Prince of Tides , by Pat Conroy. I think he'll be recognized as one of the great writers of the age. This one has sentences that are abso
Read more