The F Word
Around our house, we're having a problem with the "F" word. No, it's probably not the one you're thinking of.... it's fart. I really hate this word; in fact, even typing it is a bit uncomfortable. The problem of the F word is compounded by two factors: one is a 7 year old boy, and the other is a stinky puppy.
For some reason, my son feels compelled to say words which relate to body parts and bodily functions. Often these words are randomly blurted out for no apparent reason, but often they're incorporated into sentences or songs in a variety of ways. For example, on public television is a children's show where the characters go daily to the "book club." Except that whenever he hears it, Jed yells "to the butt club!" And then he giggles loudly... or looks at me and says with feigned innocence, "What??" The F word is his favorite however, and he'll often walk around singing or beat boxing, incorporating both the word fart (and it's variations) as well as the corresponding noise.
The situation is being exacerbated lately because we have a puppy with a gas problem. I've tried different brands of puppy chow, but nothing seems to be alleviating the issue. This dog is not only quite smelly as a result, but she has no shame. A typical eruption might happen in the living room. She's lying on the floor sleeping when we (the humans in the room) hear a distinct noise coming from her nether parts, followed by an immediate and nauseating stench. At this point, she'll lift her head and look at us all with disdain. She's either acting offended, like "Which one of you did that?" or she's enjoying the discomfort she causes. It's foul. Very foul.
The boy of course, uses such an incident as an excuse to say the F word multiple times and in various capacities. First it's disgusting - "Yuck! Della totally farted!" Then it's funny - "Did your hear Della go fart, fart, fart??" (followed by farting sounds from the boy.) Then it's just unexplainable, because he'll break into song. Improving with something like "Frosty the Fart Man! Was a farty stinky fart. With a corncob fart and a button fart...." You get the picture.
I've tried reasoning with him, threatening him, ignoring him, selling him on eBay, nothing seems to be able to stop either the boy, or the dog, and it's starting to negatively impact the quality of my home life.
I'm actually kind of worried that it's the result of a curse placed upon me by my mother. She once had a stinky dog, and I teased both her and the dog a little bit. Just a little, but perhaps that was enough? Maybe I messed up my karma, or disrupted my aura? Right now, I'd guess the aura surrounding my house is a sickly greenish-yellow......
For some reason, my son feels compelled to say words which relate to body parts and bodily functions. Often these words are randomly blurted out for no apparent reason, but often they're incorporated into sentences or songs in a variety of ways. For example, on public television is a children's show where the characters go daily to the "book club." Except that whenever he hears it, Jed yells "to the butt club!" And then he giggles loudly... or looks at me and says with feigned innocence, "What??" The F word is his favorite however, and he'll often walk around singing or beat boxing, incorporating both the word fart (and it's variations) as well as the corresponding noise.
The situation is being exacerbated lately because we have a puppy with a gas problem. I've tried different brands of puppy chow, but nothing seems to be alleviating the issue. This dog is not only quite smelly as a result, but she has no shame. A typical eruption might happen in the living room. She's lying on the floor sleeping when we (the humans in the room) hear a distinct noise coming from her nether parts, followed by an immediate and nauseating stench. At this point, she'll lift her head and look at us all with disdain. She's either acting offended, like "Which one of you did that?" or she's enjoying the discomfort she causes. It's foul. Very foul.
The boy of course, uses such an incident as an excuse to say the F word multiple times and in various capacities. First it's disgusting - "Yuck! Della totally farted!" Then it's funny - "Did your hear Della go fart, fart, fart??" (followed by farting sounds from the boy.) Then it's just unexplainable, because he'll break into song. Improving with something like "Frosty the Fart Man! Was a farty stinky fart. With a corncob fart and a button fart...." You get the picture.
I've tried reasoning with him, threatening him, ignoring him, selling him on eBay, nothing seems to be able to stop either the boy, or the dog, and it's starting to negatively impact the quality of my home life.
I'm actually kind of worried that it's the result of a curse placed upon me by my mother. She once had a stinky dog, and I teased both her and the dog a little bit. Just a little, but perhaps that was enough? Maybe I messed up my karma, or disrupted my aura? Right now, I'd guess the aura surrounding my house is a sickly greenish-yellow......
Comments
Mel, have you tried teaching him equivalent words that you will accept? They have to be great words, though. Flatulence? Puff? Fluff? Passing gas just doesn't have the right feel for boys. You know what I mean. :)
Do you know any songs about passing gas that you could teach him that don't have the word fart? Giving him permission to say it a different way might take the fun out of it. Or not.