integrity
Funny what sets me off these days. I can be totally fine and then a random thought about school pops into my head and I feel my heart start racing. Certain names on Facebook start the same reaction, as do finding "to do" lists with things undone, or seeing dishes in the sink. Ultimately, I must learn to master this physical reaction. At the very least, I need to figure out how to acknowledge it when it happens, and then let it go. I'm not very good at letting things go lately.
I used to be really good at it, or so I thought. I think that's one of the major indicators of how I've changed. Both in teaching at when I worked at State Parks, I saw my ability to not take things personally as one of my strengths. I could work my tail off and then, at the end of the day, go home and have a life. Somehow over time, my work took over more and more of my life. I'm lucky that my husband is as patient and supportive as he is, and I'm amazed that he didn't bonk me on a head with a shovel a few years ago and tell me to get over it.
I love to teach, and think that my personal investment in teaching and caring for my students is part of what makes me a good teacher. So the challenge will be how to keep that investment in students while not getting sucked into all the other stuff that goes along with the job. The other possibility is the truly scary one. It may be that the world of education with its increasing tendency towards standardizing curriculum, schools, teachers is just not something I believe in anymore. In which case, it's not a matter of maintaining perspective, it's a matter of maintaining principle. And why I may have lost my mind and my ability to relax, I have not lost my principles.
I used to be really good at it, or so I thought. I think that's one of the major indicators of how I've changed. Both in teaching at when I worked at State Parks, I saw my ability to not take things personally as one of my strengths. I could work my tail off and then, at the end of the day, go home and have a life. Somehow over time, my work took over more and more of my life. I'm lucky that my husband is as patient and supportive as he is, and I'm amazed that he didn't bonk me on a head with a shovel a few years ago and tell me to get over it.
I love to teach, and think that my personal investment in teaching and caring for my students is part of what makes me a good teacher. So the challenge will be how to keep that investment in students while not getting sucked into all the other stuff that goes along with the job. The other possibility is the truly scary one. It may be that the world of education with its increasing tendency towards standardizing curriculum, schools, teachers is just not something I believe in anymore. In which case, it's not a matter of maintaining perspective, it's a matter of maintaining principle. And why I may have lost my mind and my ability to relax, I have not lost my principles.
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