tough day

Today I got my first call ever that one of my children was in a physical altercation at school.  The nurse called, and then Jed got on the phone.  He was crying and sounded both worried and scared, although he was just fine physically.  I left work and went to pick him up.  I don't know who was more traumatized, him or me.

So his story is that he "accidentally" hit his friend in the back while he was "enthusiastically" wiggling his bendy ruler.  His friend responded with first a belly punch, and then hands around the neck.

I called my mom, the expert on boys and principals' offices, and asked for advice.  She calmed me down and gave me words of wisdom.  So I listened and didn't enter into a debate about whether it was an accident or not.  When one invades another's space, trouble happens.  It's a hard lesson to learn.

Jed is freaked out a bit, I think.  He's never been a recipient of angry violence and it scared him, especially hands around his neck.  He also feels remorse that, even accidentally, he started an altercation with his friend (and honestly the accidentally piece is up for debate).   The predominant emotion at this point is fear of a a TAG (disciplinary) referral, since his classroom teacher has made it clear he's going to have to go talk to the behavior specialist.  Jed's never really gotten into trouble and he get super sensitive even about minor behavioral (or academic for that matter) corrections.

Bob and I are doing all right as parents, I think.  The best thing going on however is Jed's sister.  She seems to know just how to talk with him, console him and help him share.  He loves her so much.  It was so cool today to see their sibling bond and her help him in ways we parents can't.

So we're all emotionally exhausted.  It was a tough day.