Northern Noise

My son is a smart alec. I'd like to say I don't know where he got it, but I do. He got it from me. He listens to everything, and what sounds humorous coming from my husband or from me, sure sounds different coming from the mouth of a 6 year old. For example, if I'm acting silly in the kitchen, my husband might say " You crazy woman " and look at me affectionately. My son however, will say it and I want to kill him. For example, "It's time to head to bed." And he replies, "I don't think I want to go to bed you crazy woman ." Not funny. Not funny at all. Actually, that's not 100% true. Part of the problem is that he's funny. He's a skinny little kid who talks like a grown up and, at times, it's pretty humorous. He hears, he remembers, he spits back out. His mouth is certainly going to get him in trouble one of these days, trouble beyond his parents giving him time out or threatening to see him in a garage sale....

I think the best thing about summer is a chance to get some balance in my life. I can get up in the morning, do the dishes & laundry, have a cup of coffee, snuggle my son, work in the yard and even do school work. Yes, school work in the summer is fun when I can do it at my own pace and not feel like I'm having to choose between my job and my life. I've already started planning for next year; I'm enjoying prepping for the class starting on Monday. I know my family feels the difference in my stress level. ("What stress level?" they may even ask.) I feel the difference in my stress level. So how do I find some sort of similar balance during the school year? I like my job, I love my family - I want both and wouldn't mind having some "me" time thrown in once in a while. Well, at least I have a quest.

After today I understand why some species eat their young. I always wanted "spirited" kids, ones who question and think and advocate for themselves. After today, I want obedience. I want to be able to tell my son "jump" and have him comply. I want him to understand that being a bully, saying mean words and hitting are not going to get him what he wants. Is some ways I know it's getting better. His "bad" behavior has increased because he's digging in his heels, pushing limits, and trying to see if I'll cave in. I think I did okay today; luckily my hubby was able to come home a bit early and take over child rearing for a while. When I was a kid I had a mean mouth. I'd say mean things and then cry myself to sleep worrying that the people I loved would die before I could apologize or before they'd forgive me. It made me feel awful and it turned my household of likewise mean-mouthed folks into a horrible place to be. Granted, it wa...

It sucks when I get the summer off and my hubby has to work. He wants to go to bed, and I don't. In the winter, when we both get off early, we head to bed together, snuggle, turn the lights out and drift off. Synchronized sleeping. But now he's tired from working hard all day and I am thinking, "Woo-hoo! No work for me tomorrow!! Whatever I do is from choice not necessity!!!" So my poor hubby has to adjust to going to bed alone. Should/ Do I feel guilty?? Sad?? It sucks when both choices are righteous.

I want to cry out "How many friggin' more people are going to die this year??!!!" But it's a question I know way better than to ask. My brother said to me that we don't have any grandparents, and only one parent left. That's a sad and chilling thought. Right now I'm in what my husband calls "field marshal mode." This means that I'm thinking practically, being rational, keeping in control. It doesn't mean that I'm not sad, it just means that I'll deal with the emotional stuff later. At my dad's memorial, I didn't cry. In fact, folks probably thought I was heartless. That's just how I am, I guess. Rationally, Gram is in a much better place. All my life she was the feistiest white-haired lady I ever met. She could tell a dirty joke, eat hot peppers, went to church a lot, was fiercely independent. She would have hated lying comatose in a bed, being changed and fed, and she would have hated "inconveniencing...